Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
how does that bad decision feel?
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