her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
