Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
