How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
