Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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