there was a trapeze. enough said
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
