at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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