so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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