Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just gargled with NyQuil
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