So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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