she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
