I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
