And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
