I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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