how can u be prego again
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize