There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
