OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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