We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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