watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
