I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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