I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
