remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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