Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
