I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Randomize
