do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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