Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
