id be glad to
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
