Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
