I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize