none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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