do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
