It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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