Girls should come with a carfax report
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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