Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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