Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
