wat bout pragnant strippers??
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
