Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So much rum. So many feels.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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