just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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