I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
