I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
