If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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