just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
