u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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