Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
