You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
