I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
