I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
