He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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