For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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