whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
