guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
