I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
