none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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