Duck Duck Cougar?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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