bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
