all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
