I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize