I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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