i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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